When I was younger, I would watch soap operas with my grandmother.  There wasn’t anything else to do during a hot Louisiana summer day besides stay still and cool in the midafternoon heat spike.  We weren’t allowed to swim during that time of day — wouldn’t have wanted to anyway in that piss-warm pool water.  And heaven forbid we should fail to check in on the latest developments in the tumultuous relationship between Luke and Laura (General Hospital for those who are clueless about what I’m referring to).

Put me in front of a soap opera today, though, and I have to admit — I’m entertained.  I’m entertained because I know that no matter how bad my life sucks, no matter how little I feel like I have, no matter who has done me wrong, my life is still better than THAT!

I don’t have boyfriends secretly in league with the Mafia because they’re being blackmailed by their ex-lover’s ex-lover with whom they are in a fight over who is the father of the child that has been kidnapped by the town diva who was accused of witchcraft and who has slept with every man in town except the gay one who is actually the father of the child but no one really knows and he’s paying off the babysitter to keep it hushed before the town Glory Days ball where it’s rumored that someone’s going to get shot so everyone’s buying a gun.

If you can follow all of what I just wrote, I’m not sure if I should feel bad for you or utterly impressed.  We’ll just go with the latter, ok?

Seriously though… if you could write a title for a Pagan soap opera, what would it be?  You know, just because we all need extra code words to talk about the latest sillyness getting stirred without actually referring to anyone specific.  *giggle*